i've realized that fun now is not what it used to be.
i don't like being in big crowds of people; i like sitting and talking to a few people who i can relate to. being able to talk and share common interests with someone is fun to me. i do not enjoy screaming at the top of my lungs or dancing around (unless i am in a club, etc with my husband).
i don't find things that a lot of people find funny funny. sexual jokes aren't funny to me anymore; theyre just not. really funny people (aka glozell) are hilarious to me. i don't laugh at stupid jokes anymore. i like to hear people tell their funny stories...stories of things that have happened to them...i think those are funny. and i very much find sarcastic humor the most hilarious of all. but stupid, sexual jokes and other kinds of things that SNL does, i do not find funny...theyre just stupid.
i've also realized that there is no need for people who have hurt me in the past to be in my life. i don't miss old times. i don't wish that we could be the same. they didn't want me in their lives, so there's no point in them being there. i don't regret. a saying i have ALWAYS stood by is "life is too short to regret". it is. there is no point in dwelling on something that happened in the past, because there is nothing you can do to change it. you move on and learn from it. i've learned alot over the past years. like who true friends are. my good friend always said there are three types of friends "reason, season, and lifetime". i have had friends who were only there because i needed them for something or they needed me. i have had friends who were only there for a short time or maybe even a few years, but then drifted away. i've also had friends who were my friends for a while but were "faking" their friendship the whole time...and i also have friends who i know will be there for me no matter what; friends who will be there for a lifetime. i have VERY FEW friends like that. other than my husband, i can think of 3. but those four people whom i know will always be there are people i want to be there. people who have shown me that i can always count on them. and four is plenty for me.
i've also realized that i don't need a lot of friends. i need the ones who i know enjoy my company and who accept me for me. and i learned that you can't depend on everyone. not everyone is going to treat you the way you should be treated and not everyone is going to be there for you no matter how much you were there for them.
i realized a lot in one night...but i'm glad i did.
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