"it becomes increasingly easy, as you get older, to drown in nostalgia"

feeling very nostalgic. i do miss my childhood. a lot. i had a wonderfully easy and carefree childhood...too bad my memory BLOWS.

on june 30th 1991,i first graced this planet with my presence.

2 - danny was born. the best little brother i could ever ask for.

4 or 5? - my parents got divorced.i do remember this day VIVIDLY, but it didn't affect me. i've never been depressed or acted out due to their divorce. it was clear that they were happier apart than together. i believe that happiness is a state of mind. you have to create your happiness. and if you're just going to use your parents' mistake as an excuse to go into depression, then you're not strong enough to control your own emotions and well-being...i'm stronger than that.



6 or 7 - my dad married sharon. she drove a red convertible...of course i liked her :)at their wedding, it was really funny, because me and my sister elizabeth got down on our hands and knees on "stage" while they were giving their vows and straightened out Sharon's train...there's a picture :) also, in the first grade, we lived in a trailer (a nice one) behind my school, Hephzibah Elem, so i walked to school. i was "jumped" by a group of black fifth grade girls. they ripped my new lisa frank bookbag and threw all my books on the ground. we moved to stevens creek by 2nd grade. at hephzibah, i also got into a fight with a boy. my "boyfriend" at the time. i scratched him and he pushed me on the asphalt basketball court...we had ISS. in the first grade.

8 - allyson was born. she's pretty presh. total diva now.

9 - ashlyn was born. she's pretty presh. total diva now. i think right around this time was when my brother, danny, was diagnosed with leg perthes disease. he was in and out of the hospital for months and months. this disease is where the ball joint in your hip disintegrates. my brother was only 6 or 7 around this time. he had surgery after surgery and had to have physical therapy. he had a double legged cast that was held together in the middle by a rod. he limped for years. he still has a SLIGHT limp that you would only notice if you knew what happened...along with a few plates and screws in his leg and a HUGE scar.

10? - my uncle T died. uncle todd...this really hit me hard. he was the first immediate family member to die. he was in his late twenties, early thirties? like i said, my memory is awful. he had to have a heart transplant and the doctors didn't get the heart in quick enough and he passed on the operating table...this was the hardest death i've dealt with so far...this was my dad's brother. we were very close. he drove a motorcycle that is sitting in my dad's garage and played guitar. he had 2 electric guitars that are sitting under my dad's bed. his death has been hard on the family especially during holidays.

oh yeah, and all through school i was made fun of...can't forget that :) haha. i was the fat girl with glasses. who wore a black choker necklace EVERYDAY for like 3 years...pathetic, i know. but that's okay, i had incredible family who made everything better.

11 or 12?- my mom met charlie. the greatest man i used to know besides my father. he was incredible and i couldn't have asked for a better man for my mom...but whatever.

13 - 8th grade chorus was where i fell in love with music. i had been in chorus since the 5th grade, but it wasn't until 8th grade that i took voice lessons at asu and the rms chorus teacher mrs vivian easler said to me "your voice is a gift that not many people are blessed with...promise me that you'll keep singing" im sure she said this to everyone, but it still made me recognize that i did have talent and it began my passion for voice and music.

14 - ohh 14. i met the most incredible woman i'd ever had the pleasure of meeting. i met morgan bolduc in the ninth grade. if you haven't heard how we met, i'm going to tell you...we were in chorus and i made fun of her SO bad. she had thick straight across bangs, glasses, and wore her hair up in a ponytail, and wore a hoodie EVERYDAY. oh i made so much fun of her. well she went out on a limb and invited me to her birthday party in september. my mother made me go. she said she didn't like the crowd i was hanging out with (noel brooks) and that i'm going to find new friends...and ever since then, morgan and i have been inseparable. thick and thin, best friends attached to the hip. i also met my first serious boyfriend in april of when i was 14. wesley murdaugh. he's just a memory now.

16 - i attended a frivolous affair that changed my life. halloween kdpi 2007 at the fairgrounds is where i met a firefighting soldier named Justin Carter. i was a ladybug and he was a firefighter. my dad drove me and told me he'd call when he was coming to pick me up. justin and i were dancing all night long and i didn't hear my phone. when my dad came through the crowd and tapped me on the shoulder, i was in mid-makeout with this justin character...he still does not know to this day that my husband was that boy that he pulled me off of. at that dance, i had no idea who this guy was. the only inclination of his name was when we were dancing, some guy yelled out "atta boy, justin" and he threw his hand up. that's all i knew. the next day, i went on myspace and searched greenbrier and evans for "justin". i eventually found him and the rest is history :)

17 - began the hatred for my mother...but i'm not going to linger on that, because it's still a sensitive subject. i joined show choir which was one of the best decisions i've ever made. it gave me drive, passion, and fire. i also grew close a wonderful woman named rachael who changed my life and is now one of my best friends.

18 - i married the man of my dreams. my provider, my love, my missing piece. the man i knew would not only fulfill my needs emotionally, but financially, and would always support me. i got out on my own and moved into the place i have now and can't wait for my hero to come back to me."I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go."


and now, here i am :) wonderfully blessed and happy as ever.
i have incredible people surrounding me and i couldn't ask for more. i can't wait for what the future holds! :)